Healing
by Mislav
Summary: Set post the episode "The Relationship Diremption". Sheldon and Howard look for escape from things that haunt them.


**A/N: I don't own any of the Big Bang Theory characters and I am not making any money from writing this.**

**Please forgive any minor spelling or grammar mistakes, English is not my native language.**

**Let me just say that I do love Shamy and Howdette and have nothing against Sheldon and Howard being comforted by their significant others after what happened to them in that awful episode, but since season seven gave us some good Sheldon/Howard friendship moments, here it is.**

**This is a story about, well, healing. OK, maybe I'm being too melodramatic. But again, maybe not.**

**Music: _Unofferable_ by Half Moon Run (or, if you really like angst, _Heal_ by Tom Odell).**

The night was dark and cold, and apartment 4A was empty. Leonard was at Penny's, Howard was at his place, and Raj had no intention of stopping by. Amy had to work late. Sheldon was sitting alone on the couch, watching TV.

He almost jumped in his spot at the sound of doorbell ringing. He got up and looked through the peephole.

Howard Wolowitz. _What is he doing here?_ Sheldon opened the door, looking at Howard in confusion.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"May I come in?"

Sheldon let Howard inside, closing the door behind before in his typical blunt way. "What are you doing here?"

Howard looked at Sheldon, almost shyly somehow. "I need you to help me download one computer program that I need for work tomorrow. My mom used my computer and it ended up contracting so many viruses that even I can't get it back to normal till tomorrow. So... can I use your computer, please?"

"I do not appreciate you disrupting my evening routine, Wolowitz, but as long as you are here..."

Howard was about to sat at Howard's desk, when Sheldon got up and stopped him. "Nobody touches my laptop, Howard. Or sits at my desk."

Howard rolled his eyes: Sheldon, completely oblivious sat at his desk, pulling his laptop open. "So, what do you need?"

Howard gave him the instructions Sheldon made several clicks on his laptop before standing up and turning back to face Howard. "OK, I got the programming in motion. It could take some time to download though."

Howard just nodded his head, avoiding to look up at Sheldon. An awkward silence ensued. They both knew that they should have been having some sort of conversation, but neither could bring himself to start it, or knew what to talk about, either. "Leslie Winkle called me Clogzilla today", Howard suddenly blurted out. "Somebody wrote it on my coffee mug too. Apparently, Barry sent a mass email. I got one too. And, as it turns out, someone from the restaurant videotaped our conversation and posted it on YouTube. One hundred thousand hits since last night."

"Stephen Hawking is ignoring my phone calls", Sheldon responded. He didn't know why he was telling Howard this, but it felt like a good way to continue a conversation, keeping in my the way Howard started it. "And my e-mails. And Leonard left me a heart-shaped rock on my desk this morning."

They both sat down on the couch, Howard sitting next to Sheldon.

"I spent my entire life trying to control myself", Sheldon suddenly said. He rarely ever felt the need to confine in somebody else, but tonight was, for some reason, an exception. "To act professionally. And yesterday I ended up getting drunk and humiliating myself in front of one of the greatest minds of 21st century. Much like my own. It took me years to meet him and make friends with him and now... what does he think of me? I ruined everything."

"At least you don't have an embarrassing nickname", Howard mumbled, then immediately regretted saying that. Sheldon glared at him.

"I am not trying to be preachy, Howard, but if you just came forward and didn't run away, this whole thing maybe wouldn't happen."

Howard rolled his eyes, but said nothing. Sheldon continued.

"I don't understand why you would do such a thing. Were you afraid that she would react badly? Women had been reacting badly to you for years!"

"It wasn't because I was ashamed!", Howard snapped. "Well, I was, but that is not the only reason." He took a deep breath. "I was... afraid. That she would laugh."

Sheldon glared at him. "Laugh?"

"Laughing itself wouldn't bother me as much, but I knew that it would make me... remember. All the other times when something like that had happened. It's just... I didn't have sex or girlfriend for months, anniversary of my... you know, was approaching, and I hoped that date would get my mind away from it and get me something good. And when that whole toilet thing happened... I couldn't take it anymore. I though that I got away with it. But some thing always catch up to me."

"Are you feeling down?", Sheldon suddenly asked. Howard shot him a dead glare. "What do you think?"

Sheldon frowned at him, obviously confused. Howard rolled his eyes. "Yes..."

"Would you like a hot beverage?"

Howard couldn't believe it, but he actually formed a small smile. "Yes", he whispered. Sheldon stood up and walked over to the fridge.

"I better make one for myself as well", he commented. Howard just nodded his head. _A good idea_, he thought.

Sheldon returned soon and sat on the couch next to Howard, handling him the mug.

"Maybe that is my punishment for being... well, a pig to women for all those years", Howard said, all of the sudden, after taking a sip of cocoa. Sheldon tightened a grip on his mug.

"I think that karma is an excuse that people use to justify their desire to hurt others", he said. "At least I see it that way. And it doesn't make the pain less real."

"That was... surprisingly human of you, Sheldon."

"Well, when an Indian guy e-mails you bunch of dirty jokes involving you and the geology books, ends the list with "That is karma plus one unprintable word", and provides Barry Kripke and Leslie Winkle with the list, it isn't too hard to form your opinion about the matter."

"So, you think that it wasn't my fault."

"I think that the only one in fault are the ones that hurt you."

"Sheldon, that is..."

"Rational", Sheldon calmly exclaimed. "You didn't do anything to directly provoke the insult and social convention states that the type of behaviour that Emily exhibited was wrong, regardless of the fact did she knew you well or not. What I can't understand is why didn't you talk to Raj, for example? Or Bernadette? Leonard? Your mom?"

"Raj didn't seem to find anything wrong about that. Quite the opposite, actually. Bernadette loves me, but also wants Raj to be happy so... Leonard is a good friend, but he usually stays away from all that relationship arguments-and I don't blame him. So... I'm... I was suffering alone." He looked at Sheldon, eyes widening at the realization. "Like you did."

Sheldon blushed, but said nothing. Howard looked away and took a deep breath before saying two simple words.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome", Sheldon responded before mumbling "Thank you too."

"And Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

"You really one of the greatest minds of 21st century."

"I already know that."

"My point is, I am sure that you will straighten things out with Stephen Hawking. Great mind like him would never turn his back away to great mind like yours. And you didn't ruin anything."

"I hope."

Sheldon then got up and sat back at his desk, putting his mug down on it. He checked his laptop screen and made several clicks. "Downloading is completed", he informed Howard. "I just emailed you the program."

Howard put the mug down and stood up. "Thank you. Anyway, I should go. I have to get some sleep if I want to be all ready and go to face the constant humiliating tomorrow."

Sheldon stood up too. "I should go to sleep too. I need energy. My friendship with Stephen Hawking won't just raise up from the ashes. And I really have to re-consider the String Theory."

Howard just nodded his head and made his way to the front door. He grabbed the door knob and before he pressed it, he heard Sheldon calling out on him.

"Howard?"

Howard turned facing him. "What?"

"This too, shall pass."

Howard shook his head. "No, it won't. But thank you."

Sheldon frowned. "You already thanked me."

Howard smiled. "You know."

Sheldon cocked his head at the side. "Do you know that you have to get back at Emily eventually?"

Howard giggled. "I know." He glared suspiciously at Sheldon. "Are you offering yourself to help me?"

"Keeping in mind revenge debacle regarding Kripke, no. But you do have my full moral support."

Howard sighed. "Well, thank you once again. I better go before you comment something about my PhD and ruin everything."

Sheldon frowned. "You don't have a PhD."

Howard clenched his fists in frustration. "Right. Goodbye, Sheldon."

"Goodbye."

The night was still dark and cold, but faint hope in a better tomorrow and Sheldon's cocoa warmed it up a little.


End file.
